

Last Nail
Some of you know me, but for those that don't
As an ‘off piste’ artist, I have been fortunate enough throughout my career to have had the support of many people. If you have ever bought a ticket to see one of my performances, or bought or commissioned a piece of my woodwork, then you are one of them.
The Organic Bondage project in 1986 saw the first wooden sleeved vinyl album I made. In 2016 I successfully made 200 hand sculpted wooden record covers for a 12” vinyl release with my French Connection ensemble as part of the 10th anniversary of Record Store Day. In 2019 the ill fated Stage Pod was underway but due to unforeseen events was impossible to conclude.
One's art is a funny thing and I know it is not to everyone’s taste. My wife expressed her wish of not sharing my funeral with a bunch of mallet wielding drunks should she outlive me and despite promises of a better carpet cleaner, a cutting edge ironing board and numerous mechanical potato peelers she still won’t give this project her blessing.
The Last Nail scenario not under negotiation:
I am sure that many of us have been in attendance of a friend’s funeral where the event is often described as “a celebration of their life” with the absence of the deceased from the proceedings sometimes quite noticeable. Rather than miss out on this “celebration” of my existence I wanted to rejoice in advance by inviting any willing persons to my final (dis) appearance.
My performance pod idea was well and truly scuppered by the events in 2020, so rather than discard all of the work I decided to re-create a pulpit for live performances using small parts of the pod after stumbling on an old video from the early 1980’s of a prototype. The earlier version was side-lined due to my Organic Bondage vinyl release in 1986 and never aired live in public.
In addition to completing the Pulpit, I now intend to make a pair of PA cabinets in the shape of two recognisable formats which will be part of this show and in turn one of them will double as my coffin.
The Last show:
This was to be a happening called “The Croake” a bit like a “craic” but with subscriber only invites.
Exhuming Funding for the Coffins:
Calculating that I would live for at least 15 years I proposed offering various options:
1) By Selecting a monthly Croake & Hammer payment plan for 12 consecutive months I would make you one wooden nail to place in a special coffin shaped wall plaque that I had made for you.
2) By Collecting 5 of these wooden nails, you would have received a special 6th iron nail that would’ve entitled you to attend my Croake, and hammer said nail into my coffin.
The Last Nail:
If anyone yearned for that very special last nail in the coffin then this would have been available as a special one off purchase.
My wife understands me:
Mallet wielding drunks aside and not wishing to become the object of scorn I am prepared to offer the following:
Alternative plan: Build Acoustic Theatre Show Iron Stage II
It is possible to support this venture without the danger of offensive behaviour or bruising your hand. If you are not already a member of my website please click HERE to sign up. If you are, log in and then subscribe to the stuffNmuck® channel HERE (£10 a year) and this will give you exclusive access to special stuffNmuck® streams for one year. Also included in the subscription are free downloads/discounts on merchandise and the opportunity to buy the “Last Nail” 12” vinyl together with CD all in an individually handmade wooden presentation sculpture at a special stuffNmuck® subscriber price.
Thankyou , Willy B.